Have you lost your job in the past year?  You are not alone!  Many individuals and families are struggling with job loss, downsizing their lifestyle, grieving the loss of money and freedom.  What do you do when you feel out of control?

     Grieving a Job Loss

      So many of us define ourselves by the positions we hold and the money we make.   What happens when we lose a job?

     Sam had been a successful sales rep for 30 years.  He had never missed a day's work.  He was at the top of his game when the market changed.  Suddenly, he found himself wondering what to do.  He worked on his resume.  He called his old friends.  He went to see his contacts.  He visited job fairs.  He ran into dead ends everywhere he turned.

     One morning, he went to make cold calls on companies he thought might need salesmen.  He went in business after business, and he noticed one thing.  The remaining employees eyed him with fear in their eyes.  They knew they were one week away from being in his position, and they were afraid of what this change in the economy was going to bring next.

     Sam knew that he had to reinvent himself.  And he did.  He found a niche.  He retrained.  He worked hard.  And yet, with mediocre success, he found himself in more debt with less self confidence and his retirement fund shrinking.

      How will Sam go on?  It's not easy.   But he is practicing serenity...He has learned that he must accept the things he cannot change, he will work like crazy to change the things he can, and he will do his best to know the difference, so that he does not dilute his energies but puts them in the most productive place.

     Sam says these new tools he has learned are things he wish he'd known a long time ago.  Rather than feeling fearful, he now is developing a peace.  He is filling his life with people, places and things that put his mind at ease.  Sure, he's not eating out as often, but he's become quite a cook in the process!

      I think Sam is learning to make lemonade!

What To Do If You Have Been Fired

     Losing a job because the market is no longer there for the position is one thing, but being fired is a demoralizing experience.

     How can you tell your family that you didn't measure up? What are you going to do without your paycheck?  Will you ever get another job?   What if someone find out that your've been fired?

     "It feels like a death," Molly said.  And it did.  She had bragged about this great job when she got it nine months ago, and now it was all history.  She blamed her manager, the poor equipment, the lack of structure of the job, but in the final analysis, Molly just knew that she had failed.

     When a person loses his or her job, the feelings that arise are those similar to experiencing the death of a close family member.  Denial or shock is closely followed by anger and depression, while many hours are spent soul searching, "What could I have done differently?"

      Thse stages are necessary evils of the road to acceptance and health.  This life event is one Molly wishes she could have skipped over. 

     But, she did find a counselor.  The counselor helped guide Molly through the feelings she was experiencing, and soon, Molly learned to live again without the black feeling that followed her around in the days following her dismissal.  She found new ways of dealing with her feelings and new ways to spend her time! 

What to Do If You've Been Fired

Things to Do If You've Been Fired

A Parting of the Ways